Saturday, October 01, 2011

Breathing again

I've been feeling really good lately. Dare I say, happy even. I still go through moments when I am sad, and I wish things had gone differently, but I'm trying so hard not to waste too much time thinking about that because that's what gets people down when they could be happy.

I'm loving having myself back, and am finally able to just breath. I was so dependent on my ex. (I know I've already said his name in past blogs, but now I'm just going to write my ex -as in my most current ex). I'm not blaming him for me being dependent. It was so easy to do at that moment in my life because of all that I was going through. My ex saved me and helped me, and because of this I found it harder and harder to be my own person, and be the independent Erin I loved. I know in every relationship, you lose a piece of yourself. That scares me, and I lost a lot of myself. It's just the constant change people go through I guess. I have to re-find myself, and I'll probably come out of it a completely new person. For now though, I'm just going to breath and enjoy life.

My aunt has napkins in her cabin and the quote on them is this: "What if it really doesn't get any better than this?" I took one home with me and put it on my fridge. I've spent too much time waiting for things to get better. I have been learning to just be happy. Life is what I make it. And I'm going to love every moment of it. I've actually been scaring myself with all this wonderful optimism lately. Believe me, it's not always there -but I'm working on it.

I know everybody in the world is taking pictures of fall lately, but this is what is making me happy. I'm most happy in the mornings because of all the beauty surrounding me.

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