Friday, June 01, 2012

Super Hero Status

I was sick last week. I posted that already. I wrote on the day I was feeling most sick, and most... whiny. I was frustrated, and not just because I found out that I don't have a super hero immune system. (Although, that's still bugging me). I was upset because being sick is something I was not able to control.

Lately, I've been all about getting control in my life. I like to know what's going on with me, and I like to have a plan (if only a day at a time plan). I didn't like my weight and how I was feeling about myself, I started counting calories and going to the gym. Granted, I had already begun to lose weight before that, but I've learned a lot about how much control I have over my weaknesses. The same goes for my mood. If I'm in a bad mood, I work on getting out of it. Sometimes, it takes longer than I'd like to get that black cloud away from me, and sometimes I know I need time to feel sad, or mad, or anxious. Then, I move on. Life is just so much better when I'm happy, and knowing that makes all the difference in the world. So long story short, when I got sick, and wasn't able to get rid of it with pure will-power, sleep and vitamins, I was really frustrated.

So not quite super hero last week, but close enough this week.

I'm better now. I didn't do it on my own though. I had to get a prescription to solve my ear infection -however, it was obviously pure will-power that fixed the rest of it... it just took a week longer than I had planned.

This may be way I have such a hatred for the phrase "Everything happens for a reason." I feel as though I'm the one who makes things happen, and when it doesn't go the way I planned, it's just because crap happens. If you don't like it, change it. If you can't change it, change your outlook, and deal with it. I could go on forever about things happening for a reason, and what those reasons are, and they all sound like stupid life lessons, that have more to do with me, and not Divine intervention.

During my week of feeling sorry for myself and being sick, I wasn't able to go to the gym. This week, I've made up for it. I went for an hour on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and loved almost every minute of it. I found it very therapeutic this week. It was a time to get lost in my thoughts and my music, and not worry about other people at all. I can't wait until Monday when I go for my next week of therapy :)

That's it. It's been the longest week ever, and I've had things going on in a lot of different areas. I've been feeling anxious about certain things, but I'm dealing with it, and if it's anything worth sharing, I will. Work has been crazy busy as well, but I'll be honest, I love the chaos!

Until next time.


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