Taking a break

Some generous people (Cameron's parents), gave me a notebook computer that they don't have a need for anymore. This was the nicest thing ever, and I still am shocked and happy with this gift. So now, I can write at home. I can put my memories and photos here, and take care of my music.

Here are some things that I don't want to do: I don't want to waste my time on Facebook when I could be writing. I've made a lot of changes in my life, but here's the big one. Enough with fb. I'm actually getting frustrated with technology in general. I'm constantly checking my phone to see if I've got texts, or emails or phone calls (rarely phone calls). Why, when I need so much to be happy with who I am, and what I'm doing for me, does it bother me so much when I don't hear from people. I suck at independence, but am working at it.

So -I think I'm going to try to take a break from fb. Maybe go on once a week. I don't need to know what every body in the world is up to, and they don't need to know what I'm up to. I don't need to check Cameron's wall to see if anybody wrote anything. It's their memories, and it has nothing to do with me. They're writing to him because they miss him. I don't have to check my crush's Facebook to see what he's been up to (especially since he rarely updates). I don't need to make plans through fb. That's what my phone is for.

I've done this before -quit fb for a certain amount of time. That's not really my plan. I just need a break. I need to focus on reading and writing, and fb is getting in the way of that. (so is Pinterest). Stumble Upon, on the other hand, actually takes me to quite a lot of resourceful pages about writing. So I'll continue with that one. I'm not going to make any big announcement on fb, letting people know my plans to take a break. It's getting ridiculous. My 'fans' will find a way to contact me if they need to. (I don't know if I need to explain the 'fans' comment, but I'm not really that egotistical. I just think that I update my status and put pictures up for these people -they're friends, but still, it all gets taken too far.)

So, I will still update my blog because I find that to be pretty important lately. Plus I have to update on all my improvements in being a better person. I emailed somebody about volunteering today.  The thing about the blog is I feel like if I say something on here, I may follow through more than if I write it in my journal. (And while writing it on fb is actually helpful, the blog seems more low key.)

Okay. Going to read now. Then write. And then, I'm going to bed. I've had kind of  a long day, and I'm not feeling very well. I also feel like I need a good cry. I'll skip that and just have a good weekend. (starting tomorrow).

Actually. The truth is, I don't feel like I'm doing so well. I feel like I'm not fighting as hard as I should be right now, and maybe the depression is winning. I let it get the best of me today and tonight. Possibly the last couple of days. Tomorrow -I will win. And I'll also stop saying tomorrow and just say now. There's no point in making plans for the future if I'm not going to work on the today.